Learning to be alone

I’m sitting on the couch, laptop on lap, coffee in hand, crappy show on TV, and right now I’m pretty happy. But I also know that if I don’t watch myself, I’ll be in exactly this position for way too long, and I’ll soon be pretty unhappy. And the likelihood of me blobbing too long increases greatly when my husband’s away, as he is today.

So one of my latest goals is to learn how to be alone. Given that I may soon be a “trailing spouse” and spending a LOT of time alone, this may become even more important. The last thing I want to do is spend 2 years on the internet, missing out on all Brunei has to offer.

So, as is my nature, the first thing I did was start googling. And the first thing that popped up was this gorgeous wee video.

I love that it encourages us to be patient and start slow. It recognises that this is a learning process, and won’t necessarily be naturally easy.

But it also reminds me that I’ve spent time alone before, and that I’ve done lots of those things. I lived in Holland for 2 months, in which time I travelled alone, went to movies alone, went out to dinner alone, explored alone, cooked alone, and learnt alone. I was always happy to have someone to share some time with, but I was also happy being alone.

With all these things in mind, I came up with a few small goals for improving my enjoyment of my alone time:

  1. Set aside at least 3 hours a week of alone time.
  2. Take myself on at least one date a month – a movie, a dinner, coffee, whatever I feel like.
  3. Create a list of things I love doing alone (playing the piano, crafting, reading, writing, “spafternoon”)
  4. Turn off the TV and the laptop, and leave them that way.
  5. Create a playlist of “my” music – the stuff my husband is not so keen on, and that will encourage me to dance and sing.

I’m working on wooing myself again, and I can’t wait.

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