Speaking of finality…

From: Jenn.O’Connell@companyname.com
To: jenn.oconnell@personalmail.com
Time: 9:16 PM (12 minutes ago)

Hi all,

After an exciting and memorable year with the (old workplace) HR team, I am finishing with (company) tomorrow do some more study and move into career coaching. I’d like to say thanks for your support over my time here. It’s been great working with and getting to know you all. I’lll miss you all, but I am looking forward to the new challenge.

This is not really a goodbye, just a “see you later”. Keep in touch! (My contact details are below)

All the best!

Cheers,

Jenn

Finality

Life feels very final when you’re finishing a job. Finality is scary. Therefore leaving a job can be scary.

But, with the right focus it’s also very exciting.

So for the next two days, I’m not focusing on the finality and the leaving. I’m focusing on the break and the new opportunities. I’m focusing on:
– having one month to relax and breathe
– being able to bike to work
– learning counselling skills
– working towards a new career
– getting to focus on what I find fascinating
– working with a team of people I really get on with
– moving to a world where not everything is urgent, due 5 minutes ago…

And as I write this list, I find it hard to realise the bad side of this move. Hmmm…

(I guess that’s a good thing!)

The Final Countdown

My last day at work is Friday.  Yes this Friday.  As in 4 days away.  I’m gonna need a minute for that to sink in before moving on…

Okay, I’m ready.

Anyway, I’ve been working away, trying to get through everything, but last week I hit a wall and reached countdown mode.  It suddenly struck me how little time I had left.  How little I could realistically do before leaving.  How much I had to leave with others.  And I started to check out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still doing the work.  I’m still there.  I’m still starting what needs to be started, following through, and doing what I need to.  But at the same time, I’m challenging less, and acting less independently.  When I am asked to do work that I don’t agree with the approach on, I am more likely to do it without raising the issues I have.  The challenges feel pointless when I am pretty sure no one will carry them on after I go…  And so I’m basically just doing what’s asked of me – no more, no less.  It’s a bad attitude, and at any other time, I would definitely act differently.  But at the moment, I’m just doing what I need to do to make it through to the end, without leaving a mess behind me.

Two weeks of this is far from ideal, but at the same time, I’m actually impressed that I lasted so long before getting to this point, given that it’s been nearly two whole months since I quit my job.  (Two busy months, hence the lack of blogging:  I’ve set up 4 new projects, created 3 complex spreadsheets to manage data, run 5 workshops, trained 3 people to take over different parts of my work, recruited 3 new people for my team.  And that’s just at work!)

As a comparison, another manager at work announced his resignation at about the same time as me, and is finishing on the same day. In the last two months, I’ve barely seen him around the office.  I’ve had multiple people comment to me that he’s not around.  And even his boss has mentioned that he’s completely checked out.  I know that comparing is a dangerous game, and not useful to anyone, but I also know that I’m glad I haven’t been as bad as him!

So now I’ve reached the final countdown, and I don’t quite know what to do with myself.  My week is busy with two full day meetings (including one on my final day), my work is mostly handed over but not truly, my new boss is flighty and difficult to pin down, and all of this is just too much for me at the moment.  My brain is in overdrive and I’m exhausted.

I think the main thing is to realise that at this point, I can do what I can do.  But I can’t actually do more than that.  And the world will continue to turn without me…

Now to get through four more days.

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